Legit Parenting
Legit Parenting
Best of Things of Beauty: What We Almost Miss: Three Stories of Noticing Beauty
What if the smallest pause could change the story you tell about your life?
n this episode, Craig shares three powerful moments where beauty emerged from unexpected places: spontaneous phone calls to celebrate struggling students, a tattered 9/11 flag that united the world at the 2002 Olympics, and carrying meaning through loss.
These stories reveal that our most broken places often become our most beautiful ones, not despite the damage, but because of it.
If this conversation moves you, pause with us: notice one act of beauty today, write it down and share it with someone you love. Subscribe for more thoughtful stories, leave a review to help others find the show and tell us the last moment you almost missed—what did it teach you?
If you follow legit parenting, you'll know that I end every episode with a story about the beauty that surrounds us. The ideology of these stories comes from my childhood sensitivity. Sad things, joyous events, resiliency, and just plain old beauty always made me cry. From all ages and all walks of life, especially children and families. Sadly, as a boy growing up in Missouri, I didn't see being sensitive as a positive trait. I saw it more as an emotional weakness. I wanted to be tough like the other boys were. My mom didn't need to say, how would you feel if that happened to you? It was hardwired into me, as natural as breathing the air around us. Later in grad school, I added some philosophy to my genetic tendencies. I stumbled upon a class, philosophy class, on Albert North Whitehead, a philosopher in the 1880s at Harvard, who invented or discovered what he called process philosophy. To summarize it, basically, the goal is to live in the moment. Now in every moment you pause before you make your next decision, and you first look backwards and figure out how did I get here? Think about the choices you made in the past and what led you to where you are now. Then, before jumping into the future that we often do, is to analyze all the choices in front of you, all the things you could do in that moment. And Whitehead believed, if you analyze those, that the universe provided us lures to beauty, like a fishing lure, and to find the choice in your future that would bring peace and harmony and beauty into the universe. Now Albert didn't believe in God, but you can apply any religion to it if that is your choice. It could be the Buddha, what would Buddha tell you, Muhammad, Yahweh for Hebrews, or Jesus for Christians. My first blending of my nature and my new philosophy happened a short time later. I was running late for a church history exam, and it was a brutal course. And I was already 15 minutes late as I barreled my 69 Buick down a two-lane road when all of a sudden at a small intersection the light turned red. I stopped. But in me was the urge to blow the light so I wouldn't be even later. Thankfully, before stepping on the gas, I happened to look to my left, and I saw two young girls walking across the sidewalk on the way to school. They were in the walk zone, but the older one who was maybe 10 or 11 must have noticed the look in my eyes. And I saw her reach down to the younger girl who was probably five, and they joined hands, and she led her back to the safety of the sidewalk they had left from. It was like if you've ever been to the 16th chapel or seen pictures of the ceiling, of God's hand reaching down demands, and this little finger's so close. It was as beautiful as that in that hand. In that moment, I realized that I was in such a hurry to get to my exam that I almost missed that moment of beauty in the universe. That started a lifelong search for beauty around me, which I write down several times a week when I stumble upon something that is inspiring and just plain old beautiful. Now, today I'm very happy about being sensitive, and I thank my mother's genetics. In encountering beauty, my mother would say, etch this in your memory. Sadly, our world today is steeped in conflicts and is extremely fear-based. Americans' belief that most people are trustworthy is at an all-time low. We have abandoned the art of looking for the good in others and looking for the beauty which surrounds us. In listening to this, my hope is that you will be inspired to slow down, ignore the negativity, and find the beauty in your life and in your family's life, the beauty that surrounds us all, and then etch it in your memory. And right before graduation, her and her two girlfriends went to a party. It's a relatively small house. There's over a hundred kids packed in the room in the house, no adult supervision. There's drugs and alcohol. Now, they weren't using any drugs or alcohol. They're just uh standing in the front window by the front in the living room by the window. And I was sharing this story at a lecture, and that's where this woman comes up. I was open at Evergreen, Colorado, doing a lecture on this topic for uh parents of teens, and I was explaining this story. And it was about one in the morning. That was the other one. So uh insurance peoples know the bewitching time is midnight. More bad stuff happens after midnight than before midnight. That's when people have been drinking, and then they drive home at one o'clock. So one in the morning, the girls are having a nice time to socializing or not drinking your drugs. Some party crashers showed up at the house trying to get in, and some of the men, young men were out front, kind of guarding the house, and these guys showed up and they tried to break into the party, and the her classmates told these guys to get lost, and there was no scuffle. And as the party crashers were leaving, this young man pulls out a pistol, turns to shoot one of those boys, misses him, the bullet goes through the glass window and hits this woman in the forehead and kills her dead. Instantly dead. She had the good values for being at the party, she she was decreasing her own risk by not using drugs and alcohol, but there were systems still risk. And they never caught, they've still yet to catch the person. This has gone on 20 10, 12 years. As I'm telling that story, a woman in the front row gets up, she looks upset, and she walks out of the room. Now, when you're given lectures, back in the old days when you could do that in person, when you're given a lecture, the last thing you want is someone in the front row to get up and walk out. That's not a good feeling. That's why I'm like, oh wow, I wonder what's going on with her. Did I offend her? She came back after the lecture. After I told that story the lecture was done, she came back and said, I'm sorry I left. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I'm like, what's wrong? She said, That was my niece. And then this kids she said, I want to thank you for telling her a story. Because I want others to find meaning at her death. And she explained how they've never found the shooter. Still, they still have it. I don't know. They don't know who did it. And she said it's just been devastating for their family. And if other teams can, if she can be an example for other teams, she was good for that. And then finally, that 2002 winter, this is four months after 9-11, whole world's in tatters. We went to the opening ceremonies. It was locked down like a drunk. They had security, they had military tanks. President Bush was there, helicopters flying all overhead. It was just it was incredible just to get in. And we get in there, we're in our seats, just great program, fireworks, skaters, the show, the marching in of the athletes. And it was the first time in nine, was Columbine was 96. Was that right? Yeah, 1996. It was the I when Columbine happened, I was out there, there were helicopters everywhere. And for years after that, anytime I heard a helicopter, I'd immediately have a flashback to that day at Columbine High School. And I was at my office doing triage with the mental health triage. And I was sitting there with my son, and all of a sudden I realized there's helicopter sounds, but I'm so joy, joy-filled being of the Olympics. I didn't think about calling that trigger went away at that Olympic ceremony. Just amazing. World leaders from everywhere, people from all around the world next to us in the stands. And then they brought out the they threw the flag and they light the torch, and they brought out the flag that was on top of one of the towers that went down on 9-11. And it's a huge flag, tattered, ripped on the ends, a hole in it, and it's being carried out by probably 50, 75 New York City police officers and firefighters. It was the most incredible moment. And everybody from every country in the world was in tears. Everyone was crying. And everybody felt this heartbreak for what we had been there, been through. And every time I hear that line, our flag was still there. It was that day. So to all our athletes, and those we lost to 9-11, but all the Olympic athletes over these years, for things of beauty in my life, I have been so privileged to know so many incredible parents. I I can't even tell you, thousands of parents that I deeply respect, and I'm like, wow. And those might be parents with neurotypical kids, I especially for the parents whose kids have learning disabilities, ADHD autism, so much respect for those parents. But just great parentings. And every now and then at my school, when something really moves me about a child, I'll do a secret phone call to the parent and just say, I just wanted to tell you. I wanted to give you, I call it a parent warm fuzzy. Because most people, when I call, it's it's when I have to call a parent, it's used for something not good. And so I started this thing every now and then I just call the parent randomly and say, I just wanted to give you a warm fuzzy. And they're pretty thrilled when I make those calls. I also do a lot of pictures for kids. I'm a very visual therapist, so I'm always drawing stick figures and something that relates to the child that they can understand and related to their interests or whatever. And I've had parents over the years come back to me and say, We still have your pictures on our fridge. And our kids like 25 and off to graduate school, and your pictures are still in our fridge. And one mom, when they were moving to LA, my friend Carter called me and she said, All your pictures were stacked next to his bed in the nightstand, the whole pile of them, and he took them with him. And he still has them. When I saw him this summer, we were joking about that.